On HIV and AIDS

I’ve been following and reading a few blogs from fellow PLUs who are HIV-positive. Two of the most active are Back in the Closet and The Chronicles of E. The latter didn’t actually start out as a blog about living with HIV—the positive result came during the blog’s lifetime (see this post and this follow-up). Two other Pinoy HIV blogs are I have HIV! and Confessions of A Pinoy HIV plus (+) though these two are long not updated.

HIV and AIDS is a scary thing. Though I consider myself quite informed about the subject (i.e., I know more than the fact that you don’t get AIDS from toilet seats and the fact that the Philippines is considered as one of the low-prevalence countries, having less than 0.1% of the population infected even with liberal estimates), the reality of living with HIV is quite an alien thing for me. Even with what I know, the information is far too sterile and clinical and it doesn't reflect the fact that HIV/AIDS is a growing problem and that Filipinos need to see the reality of it. Reading these blogs gave me the much needed perspective about such a taboo area and one thing I’ve learned is that many HIV-positive people in the Philippines get antiretroviral medications for free from government-run medical institutions. This is a good thing since these drugs are very expensive.

One good thing that is coming out from this increased awareness about HIV and AIDS through the local PLU blogosphere is the teaser launch of Positivism, an e-zine that aims to combat the stigma and discrimination (that’s much worse than PLU discrimination) attached to HIV-positive people. This is one really commendable project and I look forward to seeing these people, whether HIV-positive or negative, succeed.

The baiting game

One thing I enjoy doing that is kinda mean is what I call the baiting game. This is essentially making another guy follow me and seeing how far he will go. You might say that this is an elaborate version of playing hard-to-get, but the difference is that while I find the other guy interesting (or otherwise I’d ignore him), I’m not interested enough to go out of my way (from either going home or doing an important errand) to see where things might lead. If nothing happens, then I won’t feel any regret. I basically play this game to test whether the other party will be willing to go the distance.

The game starts with the look to show that I am somewhat interested. But I then walk away to go towards wherever I was supposed to go. After a while I look back and if I see him following, then the game is on. Judicious timing of looking back at him ensures that the bait is fresh. What happens next is that he either gives up or he’s successful in catching up. Either way, I don’t lose anything and gain the cheap thrill of having someone follow me. (It’s an ego-booster after all.)

Mind you that in the vast majority of the times I try to play this game, the other guy quickly loses interest so the game doesn’t start at all. But when the game is played, usually nothing happens because the guy gives up, often because he can’t follow me anymore. For instance, there was a time I was eating dinner at a fastfood restaurant in Park Square One in Makati intending to catch a movie at Glorietta after. While eating, I spotted this guy at a far table looking at me. I returned the stare and laid the foundations of the baiting game. After eating, I quickly left the restaurant but quickly threw him another look. Going towards Glorietta 4, I saw him following and knew that the game is on. Well, I managed to make him come after me all the way to the cinema lobby of Glorietta 4, but after he saw me lining up to get a ticket, he gave up and left. I guess he wasn’t in the mood for a movie.

Out of all these games I’ve played, only three guys were successful in meeting me. One encounter ended up into an impromptu date, another into casual sex, and the third into exchanging of numbers. The one with the impromptu date started pretty much the same as the unsuccessful attempt I described earlier. I was exchanging glances with this guy in a fastfood restaurant in Glorietta 4 and after eating, made him follow me to the Glorietta 1 cinemas where he saw me buy a ticket and enter the moviehouse. What I didn’t expect was that he also bought a ticket and managed to find me inside the theater. That became an impromptu movie date and I brought him to his home after. (Nothing happened much after that; you might say that it was a one night date, hehehe.)

The second successful encounter happened when I left the gym and saw this good-looking guy standing outside. I proceeded to walk to where my car was parked a few blocks away and was surprised to see him following me. To cut the story short, he rode along with me and we drove to where he parked his car and did the deed in his vehicle. That was definitely one of the hottest encounters I’ve had.

The third one was the most outrageous of all. It was basically the baiting game done via cars: him in his wheels following me in my van around Ortigas Center (after making him follow me to the parking lot where he was coincidentally also parked). I eventually stopped at a side road with him parking soon after behind me. He alighted from his car and approached me and then we then exchanged some pleasantries and phone numbers. I did not follow-up with him after that incident since upon closer look, I did not find him too attractive after all.

So what do you think? Am I bad for enjoying this game?

Discreetionary: hipon

hipon [HEE·pon] noun 1. a guy with a great body but with an average or unattractive face. example: “Those guys in suits are HOT and definitely not hipon!” —AJ on the KFC Shrimp Surfers TV commercial. etymology: from the Tagalog word for shrimp and from the observation that most people eat the body of the shrimp and not the head.

I can't remember the first time I encountered this term but I immediately understood what it meant. I'm just part of the majority who likes eating the body of shrimp and not the head (a la tempura), so I quickly got the idiom. Surprisingly, I still encounter a comment or two on blog posts that use this term asking what “hipon” means. Also, the term is often used in a derogatory manner.

I don't know of any good opposite term for a guy who has an attractive face with a not-so hot body. One term I've encountered is “lollipop,” but this refers to skinny or very lean cute guys (usually twinks). Do you know of any other such term?

Got any Discreetionary terms you'd like to share? Send them my way at discreetmanila at gmail.com.

Club Bath: where “The Thrill is Silence”

I’ve been to Club Bath Philippines many times and though I haven’t been to all of the other bath houses in Metro Manila, I can definitely say that Club Bath is the best among them. Club Bath (or CB, as their patrons call it) is the most straighforward bath house there is. Unlike Fahrenheit that doubles as a dance club or Epitome that doubles as a comedy bar during weekends, Club Bath has no gimmicks, no special promo nights, no shows and productions—it’s just a plain jane bath house. Aside from the official website, the managers of Club Bath don’t even go out of their way to advertise their club, unlike the owners of the other bath houses that regularly flood the forums of Guys4Men.

Dubbed as the place where “The Thrill is Silence,” Club Bath is located at #2456 F.B. Harrison Blvd. in Pasay City, surprisingly just a stone’s throw away from the City Hall. It started operations in 1977 making it the first and oldest bath house in the country (it’s even older than me!). I don’t have any way of knowing for sure, but I think CB is the oldest continuously-operating gay-oriented establishment as well. I have also never heard of Club Bath being raided (I could be mistaken of course), so I think CB is the safest place you can go to get laid, hehehe.

Club Bath is actually just a repurposed three-story mansion (that’s why it’s often confused with D’Mansion, another bath house located nearby). The first floor contains the reception area, the TV room (showing only regular TV channels, no blue films), a fairly nice mini-gym, a small Internet room (with two PCs), the locker room (with modern wooden lockers), and a wet area having open showers (not for modest people) and a steam room (no sauna, however). The second floor contains 25 rooms, a comfort room, a hidden cubicle, and a couple of balconies where you can smoke. The top floor has four more rooms, a common area leading to three cubicles (for those who didn’t avail of the rooms), and a lanai. Each room contains a safety deposit box and a bed with a soft foam mattress (with actual cloth bed sheets)!

Despite its age, Club Bath is actually very well-maintained and is said to be the cleanest among the bath houses in the Metro. The furnishings and interior design don’t actually scream “old mansion.” The walls and shelves are even adorned with homoerotic art pieces (though they have noticeable reduced their number lately). You can expect then that CB is quite high-end and pricey. And, yes, it’s actually the most expensive. Looking at their rates, the initial membership fee costs 250 pesos, and each visit would set you back up to 230 pesos for a locker or up to 400 for a room. But think about it: getting a room at Club Bath is actually cheaper than getting a room in a motel, and you get to stay for as long as CB is open.

One thing I like about Club Bath is that they pipe in continuous house music from some Internet radio station. The music is actually good enough to dance to, though you won’t see anyone actually dancing since everyone is in their towels and dancing would look decidedly out of place.

I’ll cut this entry short for now—I think I’ve pimped Club Bath to you quite enough, hehehe. I’ll just discuss other details and helpful tips and information in succeeding posts. Stay tuned!

Update: an anonymous commenter, who’s been going to Club Bath since the early 90s, shares that Club Bath used to be located near the Buendia-Roxas intersection before transferring to its current location in the mid-80s. And he says that Club Bath has never been raided as far as he knows. So there!

On California’s Proposition 8

The recently held United States election was a bittersweet affair. On the one hand, I’m really, really glad that Sen. Barrack Obama was overwhelmingly elected as President of the United States. On the other hand, I’m extremely saddened by the fact that propositions to amend three state constitutions to ban gay marriage in California, Arizona, and Florida passed or are passing. I’m especially disheartened with outcome in California, perceived as one of the most liberal states in the States. Proposition 8, or the ballot that “Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry,” is currently passing with a little over 52% of the votes; only a simple majority is needed to pass a constitutional amendment and the official result will be released on December 9.

California’s Prop 8 has been said by pundits to be the highest-funded campaign in the United States on the November election next to the presidential race. There’s plenty of ads, posters, and rallies that have been conducted for and against Prop 8. Even Google has released an official company statement against the proposition. There are plenty of videos uploaded to YouTube, but this No to Prop 8 video is the most heartwarming I've seen:

But hope (and love) is not lost. Social trends show (based on past legal-based initiatives in California) that it’s only a matter of time before Prop 8 will be overturned.

As a final food for though regarding this whole gay marriage issue, I’ll leave you with this Slate article titled “Privatize Marriage” by David Boaz, which says that the simple, although hard-to-implement, solution to the gay marriage debate is to make marriages private, like it used to be centuries ago.