How things work in Epitome

From past posts here in Discreet Manila, you should already know where Epitome is (and how to get there), how the bathhouse is laid out (so you won’t get lost or look lost), and what are its themed nights. So now I’ll explain how things work in Epitome and what norms, procedures and things that you can expect there so that you won’t go around looking clueless (and therefore prey to others).

Epitome’s entrance, manned by a friendly security guard, is just a doorway leading straight to a stairway. On the second floor landing is a bulletin board where you can check out the posted promos and events. To the left is a door which leads to yet another stairway on top of which is the registration booth, which is usually manned by a hunky guy.

If this is your first time to go to Epitome or you are renewing your membership, the attendant will give you a registration form that you need to fill up and you need to provide him with an ID. I think you can get away with providing minimal information in the form, but the name you write must match the one on the ID. The attendant may also have you sign the back of a membership card that he will provide you (or later before you leave). You also need to pay the membership fee which I think is P280. The membership fee also serves as your entrance fee for that night.

If you are already a member, then you only need to provide the attendant with your membership card and an ID and you need to pay the entrance fee, which varies with the time you arrive (the earlier, the cheaper) and the day of the week (weekends are more expensive). The average price you will shell out is around P200.

After everything is in order, the registration attendant will give you a padlock and a pair of keys. If you brought a bag, the attendant will also claim it for deposit there. In addition, depending also on the time, you may be given a drink stub that you can redeem for a free drink. The attendant will then ring a bell (of sorts) where you will be ushered into the left door. Inside, a waiting attendant will get all your valuables and deposit them in one of the safety deposit boxes using one of the keys given to you (the box’s number matches your padlock’s). You have to leave everything valuable: cellphone, wallet, keys, wristwatch, etc. The attendant will then frisk you to check that you have left nothing else.

From there you can proceed to the lounge area. During Fridays and Saturdays, there is usually a show on the lounge’s stage, usually a gay comedy show with karaoke singing—basically your typical bar program that you can see elsewhere. You can opt to stay and watch the show (and sing if you want) and drink at the bar there, or proceed to the bathhouse proper.

The bathhouse proper’s entrance can be found from the back of the lounge going outside the back and down a steep set of stairs. After entering the door, you will find yourself in the locker room where a waiting attendant will give you a towel and a pair of slippers. He may also ask you your padlock number and point you to the matching locker where you will deposit your clothes. You have to change into the towel and slippers before you can proceed to the other areas. The keys are attached to a wrist band which you can then wear while inside the bathhouse proper.

From then on, it’s pretty much up to you. I suggest you go and explore. Try to familiarize yourself with the floor plans I provided so that you won’t get lost. In addition, you can also get your drinks at the bar on the ground floor. When ordering your drink, you can give your drink stub if you have one. Additional drinks will be charged to your number which the bartender will ask every time you order a drink. The payment will be conducted at the registration booth when you leave. (Surprisingly, the bartender rarely checks your keys to confirm the locker number. So theoretically, you can charge your drinks to somebody else.) You can also order food if you want; just ask the bartender.

Once you’ve had your fill of, uh, men and want to leave, just change back to your clothes at the locker room then give the attendant your towel and slippers. You can also freshen up using the provided toiletries at the dresser there. Then, retrace your steps back to the safety deposit boxes where the attendant will get your stuff and hand it back to you. From there, you go to the registration booth (via a different hallway) where you give the registration attendant your padlock and keys. You then have to pay for any additional drinks you ordered. The attendant will then give you your ID and your membership card, and your bag if you brought one. Finally, you can leave the premises and come back another day.

Shown above is a photo of the back of the membership card, which is just a piece of cardboard. There’s a bar code, an ID number, and a space for your signature. The front of the card just depicts Epitome’s logo. They used to have the card laminated but now no longer.

Trivia: Epitome's official name is Epitome Cafe and Fitness Center and the corporation behind it is named Hedoniste Inc. How do I know the corporation? I’ve seen the business permit posted at the registration booth. I’ve also learned that Epitome is registered in the City of Manila as a restaurant, would you believe?

Discreetness is not black-and-white thing

I’ve written over a year ago about the subtle differences between being closeted/out and being discreet/indiscreet (and also a bit about being masculine/effeminate). These are all interrelated but distinct concepts. To recap, being closeted/out is really all about whether other people know whether you are straight or not, while being discreet/indiscreet is all about how you act and behave to prevent other people from knowing about your sexual orientation.

For this post, I’ll expand on the statement I wrote then that there are “many shades to being discreet.” This means that there is no strict line between being a discreet PLU one minute and suddenly no longer being one. Discreetness is not a black-and-white thing.

I guess at the most discreet level are those uber-paranoid guys that like to control every aspect of other people knowing about their hidden life. These are the guys that prefer one-on-one encounters brokered over the Internet but never posting nor sharing their pictures online. These guys will definitely never go to gay clubs, bathhouses, and other similar venues. They may also refrain from having sex in motels (lest the staff know about them), would shy away from casual encounters in malls and in the gym (since they would prefer to know if the other guy is as discreet as them without the guy knowing how they look like), and would never be seen with another guy in public if there’s a chance that other people might mistake them as being on a date.

Unfortunately, these guys are the least likely to get action and their paranoid behavior make them really irritating to deal with. So unless a guy like that is someone with a lot to lose (like a celebrity or maybe even a tsinoy dude with an intensely traditional family) he will likely relax some aspects of his behavior if he really want to explore what it really means to be PLU.

On the other end of the spectrum are those guys that don’t care what other people think. And because they don’t care, discreetness is a non-issue. (But it doesn't mean they turn effeminate—remember that masculinity vs. effeminacy is a different concept.) When asked, they won’t deny that they’re gay or bi. And in public, they may hold their partner’s hand or even display affection.

Between these two extremes is a lot of gray area, and that gray area does not even have clearly defined levels. Gay guy A may chose to be less discreet in one aspect or in one situation but be very discreet in another while PLU B would have it the other way around. Is one more discreet than the other? When PLUs say that they want to meet a discreet guy, they are actually saying that the other person must be as discreet as them or more so in all the aspects or situations where they are being discreet.

A case in point: in gay social networking sites, like the old Guys4Men, there are some guys who don’t post pictures of themselves because they say they are “discreet.” By claiming that, they then automatically imply that all the other guys that have visible pictures are not discreet anymore. I don’t think that that is the case, right?

Anyway, discretion is not a bad thing, but I take exception when people use their standards of discretion as a form of unreasonable discrimination. It’s understandable if you only prefer guys who have similar levels of discreetness as you do but it’s not right to judge other people for having different standards of discretion from you.

Pinoy PLU Signal: Apathetic to Basketball

Basketball is so freaking popular in the Philippines that practically every barangay has its own basketball court and every village its own summer liga (league). And one thing I’ve noticed is that almost every PLU friend I know is not into basketball outside of UAAP/NCAA and NBA. If any gay guy is interested at all, then it would likely be because of the hunky cagers, especially those that have crossed over into showbiz or modeling like Ram Sagad, Bruce Quebral, Chris Tiu, Simon Atkins, JC Tiuseco, Derick Hubalde, and Marx Topacio.

I have no idea why gay people, in general, are not into basketball as much as straight guys. I don’t think it’s because gay guys are not into sports. One reason I can think is that basketball is a contact sport (unlike, say, volleyball or badminton) and because of that, established basketball teams will likely shun gay players who are out especially in this still-homophobic country like ours. Also, I think that closeted potential players would likely find the physical contact in the game too much for comfort. Of course I’m just speculating here and I would certainly appreciate any ideas.

I’ll just leave you with this funny local commercial (that you already ought to have seen) about a closeted MVP cager unmasked by a iced tea drink / truth serum. It also helps that the MVP’s two teammates here are very yummy.

200 subscribers!

While the actual count does change day by day (sometimes going up or going down), I think that it’s safe to say that Discreet Manila has crossed the threshold of 200 subscribers according to Google Feedburner, which handles this blog’s subscription feed. Yay! I’d like to give a big shoutout to all of my readers: thank you very much for supporting this site!

If I remember correctly, it was back in January that Discreet Manila got a hundred readers, a little less than a month before this site’s first anniversary. That means that the first 100 came in the first 11 months while the next 100 joined in just 5 months. Wow! I’m really overwhelmed by the vote of confidence, guys! Thank you very much!

So, how long do you think before Discreet Manila gets 300 readers? I hope it happens before the end of the year.

Pick-up

Has someone ever tried picking you up while you were standing on a sidewalk minding yourself? Well, I had that experience and the first time happened back in 2004.

It was nighttime. I was waiting then along Julia Vargas Avenue besides Megamall, waiting for my ride to fetch me. There was this one guy I noticed scoping me out. I did not think much of him because, although I sensed that he wasn’t straight, he was an ordinary-looking middle-aged guy. He disappeared after a while.

After a few more minutes, I saw him crossing back the street to my side. By then, we two were the only ones standing near the intersection. He was looking at me and I was looking at the road waiting for my ride.

He approached me and asked, “Pwede magtanong?” (Classic.) “Alam mo ba kung saan ang CoffeeLine?” (Pick-up tip #1: invent an obscure-sounding shop nobody knows so you can talk with the target person longer.)

“Sorry, di ko alam ’yon,” was my disinterested reply. I tried my best to put on my most snobby demeanor that my friends usually complain about.

“’Di ba sa may Shaw lang iyon?” he pressed.

(Eh, alam mo pala eh, ba’t ’di mo hanapin?) “Wala talaga akong alam na CoffeeLine.”

Unperturbed, he paused for a while before asking, “Anong pangalan mo?” I thought he’d never ask.

“Bakit?”

He offered his hand and introduced himself, “My name’s Eric.” Man, I don’t know if I’d admire him for being brave or pissed at him for being thick-faced. If I were in his shoes, I’d mutter a quick “sorry” and be on my way.

But since I’m not that rude a person to refuse an introduction, I shook his hand. “Vince,” came my reply.

Then comes the kicker. “Nagpapabayad ka ba?” Man! I knew I was expecting it but actually hearing it was quite a different experience. I don’t know if I should be flattered or insulted.

“Ha?! Hindi.”

With a disappointed look, he utters “sorry” then crossed back the street hailing a taxi on the other side.

But the story didn’t end there. While still waiting for my ride, another guy was scoping me out as well. He is younger but still an ordinary-looking guy. Sigh. Why can’t the semi-cute guys be the ones who approach? Probably because most of them are playing hard-to-get.

Like the first one, this second guy finally gathered enough guts to approach and ask, “Pwedeng matanong kung anong oras na?” (Pick-up tip #2: If all else fails, ask for the time.)

He asked it because I was fiddling with my cellphone. Unfortunately for him, I was tinkering with it because it was having problems. I honestly couldn’t tell what time it was so I sincerely replied, “’Di ko alam eh.” Sounds mean, I know.

Unlike the first guy, he took the hint and went away.

Up till now, I still don’t know why two guys approached me that night. I didn’t think that Julia Vargas was a popular cruising/pick-up spot nor was I dressed like a call boy. I usually have a snobby look about me so the experience was totally unexpected. I laugh at it now and now I’m just curious if you guys have ever had similar experiences as well.