Prayers for Bobby

I first came across the 2009 TV film Prayers for Bobby (IMDB, Wikipedia) in 2012 and resolved to watch it eventually. I finally got to do that late last year. I heartily recommend everybody to see it, especially those who are struggling with feelings of rejection due to their sexual orientation. There are a few uploads of the complete film on YouTube, such as this one.

Based on a book with the same title, Prayers for Bobby tells the true story of Bobby Griffith and his relationship with his mother, Mary Griffith, a very conservative Christian parent (portrayed very well by Sigourney Weaver). The year was 1979 and Bobby’s homosexuality was revealed to his family. This prompted Mary to help “cure” her son through religion and therapy. This proved unsuccessful and Bobby’s depression and feelings of rejection from his mother led him to commit suicide a few years later. Devastated by his death, Mary started questioning her religious stance against homosexuality and eventually came to terms with her son’s death. In doing so, she became an outspoken advocate for gay rights.

While that paragraph above pretty much tells the whole story, reading about it and actually seeing the film are two very different things. I secretly watched the movie on my laptop hoping that nobody else in the household sees or hears what I was watching. But it was very hard not getting teary-eyed at some scenes and dialogue in the film. The following line uttered by Mary while confiding to a gay-friendly pastor is pretty heart-wrenching, as is her wonderful speech towards the end of the movie.

“I know now why God didn’t heal Bobby. He didn’t heal him because … [breaks down in pained sobbing] … there was nothing wrong with him!”

While conditions nowadays is a far cry from the early eighties during Bobby’s time, there is still a lot more that can be improved. I pray that the day will come when there would be no more Bobbys, Tylers, and Jameys. I just hope that that day would come soon enough.

“Same Love” at the 56th Annual Grammy Awards

Last year, I blogged about Macklemore & Ryan Lewis’ song “Same Love”, a pro-gay marriage song that has been getting some airtime in local radio stations. Well, the song got nominated for the Song of the Year Award at the recent Grammy Awards, but they lost to Lorde’s “Royals”. Still, the hip hop duo won a total of four Grammys, namely, Best New Artist, Best Rap Performance and Best Rap Song (both for “Thrift Shop”), and Best Rap Album (The Heist).

What’s more notable is that “Same Love” was performed during the awards night with Mary Lambert (the featured vocalist on the song), Queen Latifah, and Madonna, who sang her song “Open Your Heart”. In the middle of the performance, Queen Latifah, who had been deputized by the Los Angeles County, officiated the weddings of 33 straight and gay couples standing in the audience, including Lewis’ sister who married her boyfriend. I guess it was the first ever mass wedding held in any awards show and one that featured same-sex couples!

You can watch the performance below:

2013 is a banner year for same-sex marriage

As we celebrate 2013 with a bang, I’d like to look back and see how same-sex marriage has been adopted all over the world during the past year. Back in July, I congratulated England and Wales for allowing same-sex marriage for its citizens starting on March 29, 2014. England and Wales joined Uruguay, New Zealand, and France in recognizing same-sex marriage this year bringing the total number of countries where same-sex marriage is allowed to 15.

But the greatest triumph is in the United States. Over the past 12 months, nine states either passed legislation, had court rulings, or had popular votes allowing same-sex marriage in their territories. These are Rhode Island, Delaware, Minnesota, California, New Jersey, Hawaii, Illinois, New Mexico, and Utah. These series of recognition has effectively doubled the number of states and territories in the United States where same-sex marriage is allowed. The other states and territories where same-sex marriage is already allowed are Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, Washington, D.C., New York, Maine, Maryland, and Washington. In addition, the federal Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) was effectively struck down by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2013 thus allowing same-sex couples federal benefits such as insurance and social security.

The map below show the current state of same-sex laws in the United States with blue states for and red states against.

Among the states that started allowing same-sex marriage in 2013, the most notable are California and Utah. California’s Supreme Court previously ruled in 2008 that same-sex marriage is permitted in that state. However, Proposition 8 was narrowly passed by voters later that year which stated that marriage can only be heterosexual. Predictably, this set off a series of court cases resulting in the overturning of Prop 8 in 2010. This was appealed and the appellate court affirmed the decision. Finally, the case was brought to the U.S. Supreme Court which dismissed the case last June 26. After 5 years of wrangling, California finally joined the growing list of states where same-sex marriage is recognized.

The case of Utah is quite curious. Utah, where the very conservative Mormon Church (aka Latter-Day Saints) has considerable influence, had previously passed in 2004 a state constitution amendment defining marriage as between a man and a woman. Due to a court case, a federal district judge ruled last December 20 that this amendment was unconstitutional with respect to the U.S. Constitution thus paving the way for same-sex marriages to be performed in Utah.

Pundits noted the irony of the situation because the Mormon Church had poured large amounts of money and resources into pushing for Proposition 8 in California. As mentioned earlier, Prop 8 was struck down earlier this year and now Utah itself allows same-sex marriage. The Republican Utah administration had already started the appeals process and we will see where the legal dance will take Utah in the years to come. Hopefully, like California, Utah will ultimately allow same-sex marriage with finality.

Wentworth Miller on suicide and coming out

You should know by now that Wentworth Miller, who played the leading character Michael Scofield in the popular TV series Prison Break, came out of the closet late last month. In a simple letter posted on the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation website, Miller declined an invitation to attend an international film festival in St. Petersburg, Russia as a form of protest against the anti-homosexual laws in that country. “It would make me happy to say yes, however, as a gay man, I must decline,” wrote Miller.

Having enjoyed watching the 1st season of Prison Break, I developed a small crush on Wentworth Miller as well as on his co-actor Dominic Purcell, who played Scofield’s half-brother Lincoln Burrows. At the height of his popularity, Miller was actually hounded by gay rumors and he emphatically said back in 2007, “I’m not gay.”

Now Miller, through an inspiring speech given at a recent dinner organized by the Human Rights Campaign, spoke about his struggles in coming to terms with his homosexuality. He revealed that he first tried to commit suicide at 15 by downing a bottle of pills while his family was away for the weekend. He survived and was asked if that was a cry for help. He said no because, “You only cry for help if you believe there’s help to cry for. And I didn't. I wanted out.” And on his decision to finally come out, Miller said, “let me be to someone else, what no one was to me.”

You can watch his full speech below. (Note: the audio is quite soft, so you should use earphones.)

Steve Grand – All American Boy

For your mid-week hump day delight, here’s a hot music video from Steve Grand, “All-American Boy”. If you’ve ever had unrequited feelings for a straight man, especially a strapping all-American dude, then this song and video is for you. The video, which was released early July, has reached nearly 1.8 million hits on YouTube and features Steve pining for his all-American guy friend. While the guy friend is pretty hot, Steve is very gorgeous as well, with his puppy-dog eyes contrasting with his muscular physique that he shows off at around 3 minutes into the video.

While he is not the first openly gay country music singer in a genre that is quite conservative, Steve Grand has certainly made a big splash despite being unsigned to any major record label since this song is his debut single and is unabashedly a gay song at that. The song’s title is even a nice counterpoint to the numerous all-American girl country songs such as “American Girl”, which was the blind audition song of the second runner-up Swon Brothers in The Voice USA Season 4, as well as “All-American Girl” which was sung in the finale of the same show by Danielle Bradbery, the eventual winner. (If you’re curious, I was rooting for Michelle Chamuel.)