Paraan at dahilan

“Kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, may dahilan.”

That’s what I told myself when I silently let go of this guy that I’ve been sort of pursuing for over a year. Let’s call him V. I first met V in Bed during the 2007 Christmas break. He was standing near the bar on the ground floor and I was attracted to his chinito looks and shaved head. We hit it off right away and ended up making out in the car somewhere in Malate before spending the night at his place. I rarely go to another guy’s pad after meeting him in Bed so the fact that I went with V says a lot about how much I like him.

We went out a few times after that and I visited him at his place and spent the night there several times. I’ve been single for quite a while and I considered V a really good prospect and was willing to see where things will eventually lead.

He says that he likes me a lot and I can tell because he’s quite malambing (affectionate) when we’re together at his house. But I can tell that he’s holding back and when I confronted him about it, he explained that he was still hurting from his previous relationship and that he needed time to “pick himself up.” I wasn’t in a hurry to get into a relationship so I told him that I was willing to wait.

And waited I did for several months. During that time I would occasionally ask him to go out to dinner with me or to watch a movie. He would reply that he was busy with work and that he promised to text me if ever he was free. Well, those texts never did come and I can’t reconcile the fact that he admits to liking me a lot but never finding the time to spend with me.

Action speaks louder than words and I guess he just was not interested enough. It’s been over a year since his break-up with his ex and I think that’s enough time to heal and to explore the possibility of spending time with other people. He says he likes me but he always had a reason. “Kung ayaw, laging mayroong dahilan.” And so I bid him adieu.

Easter Sunday message

Today, Easter Sunday, is arguably the most important holiday in Christendom. Well, talking about religion and homosexuality together is quite a sensitive thing and yet, I’m going to do just that but in a relatively shallow manner. (I’ll leave the heavy discourse for a future article.) It’s a known fact that the Roman Catholic Church, of which the majority of Filipinos are a member of—in name if not in practice, is quite critical of homosexuality. The Church leaders say that we should “hate the sin, not the sinner” but I think this philosophy as applied to non-straight people is utter hogwash! This criticism of homosexuality has reached a fever pitch in the past few years ever since Pope Benedict XVI was elected in 2005. It can’t be denied that the current Pope is unabashedly homophobic more so than his predecessor Pope John Paul II, and it doesn’t help that he doesn’t have the charisma of the late Pope, thus earning him more enemies. (I’m a practicing Catholic, by the way.)

That said, I still feel Christian gay people in the Philippines are still lucky compared to their Muslim brethren in Arab countries. This was recently emphasized when news that three supposedly gay guys where murdered in Iraq greeted me during the start of Holy Week. And to think that two of those three were teenagers! See this news article for details. Being homosexual is punishable by death in many Arab countries and I’m just thankful that most Christian leaders will not go down that extreme path; we would just be called “an abomination” if you believe their interpretation of Leviticus, and simply be encouraged to join ex-gay ministries, which I don’t believe is effective for majority of gay men.

I am also thankful that the Catholic Church is relatively more tolerant than other Christian groups, especially the fundamentalist denominations in America and the Mormons. For example, the murder of Matthew Shepard, a famous victim of a gay-hate crime, was celebrated by the congregation of the Westboro Baptist Church, and their leader, “Rev.” Fred Phelps, even declared that Matthew is now burning in hell for being gay. The Westboro Baptist Church is the organization that maintains the utterly controversial God Hates Fags website, and is probably the most extreme anti-gay “Christian” group. (So they are not representative, mind you.) The Mormons, on the other hand, experimented with administering shock therapy to members found to be gay, as demonstrated in the gay film Latter Days. In addition, the Mormon Church is believed to be the religious group that provided the largest support to promote California’s Proposition 8.

Although I’m thankful that the Catholic Church doesn’t and won’t go to such extremes (well except for the Prop 8 thing), I don’t think that we should be complacent and accept thing as they are. The Church is extremely close-minded when it comes to homosexuality and I guess the best “war front” would be to convince the Catholic lay people that homosexuality is not as reprehensible as the leaders of the religion paint it out to be.

So, how’s your Holy Week?

I guess it’s just a lucky coincidence that we have back-to-back long weekends this summer, like I mentioned back in January, due to the moved Araw ng Kagitingan and the Holy Week. I’m also quite sure that plenty of people took this Tuesday and Wednesday off so that they can have a 9-day vacation. And as expected, PLUs everywhere will or have already descended to the island of Mindoro to have their dose of sea, sun, sand, shore, surf, and, sex?

Even if you’ll be hitting the beaches of Puerto Galera only starting this Thursday, you can still whet your appetite by checking out my Puerto Galera guide, although it’s probably outdated already. (It’s been a few years since I’ve last been to Galera and I’m not going this year.) I’d certainly appreciate any updates or even stories from you guys.

White Beach photo from Wikipedia.