“Kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, may dahilan.”
That’s what I told myself when I silently let go of this guy that I’ve been sort of pursuing for over a year. Let’s call him V. I first met V in Bed during the 2007 Christmas break. He was standing near the bar on the ground floor and I was attracted to his chinito looks and shaved head. We hit it off right away and ended up making out in the car somewhere in Malate before spending the night at his place. I rarely go to another guy’s pad after meeting him in Bed so the fact that I went with V says a lot about how much I like him.
We went out a few times after that and I visited him at his place and spent the night there several times. I’ve been single for quite a while and I considered V a really good prospect and was willing to see where things will eventually lead.
He says that he likes me a lot and I can tell because he’s quite malambing (affectionate) when we’re together at his house. But I can tell that he’s holding back and when I confronted him about it, he explained that he was still hurting from his previous relationship and that he needed time to “pick himself up.” I wasn’t in a hurry to get into a relationship so I told him that I was willing to wait.
And waited I did for several months. During that time I would occasionally ask him to go out to dinner with me or to watch a movie. He would reply that he was busy with work and that he promised to text me if ever he was free. Well, those texts never did come and I can’t reconcile the fact that he admits to liking me a lot but never finding the time to spend with me.
Action speaks louder than words and I guess he just was not interested enough. It’s been over a year since his break-up with his ex and I think that’s enough time to heal and to explore the possibility of spending time with other people. He says he likes me but he always had a reason. “Kung ayaw, laging mayroong dahilan.” And so I bid him adieu.