Apr 28, 2009

Paraan at dahilan

“Kung gusto, may paraan; kung ayaw, may dahilan.”

That’s what I told myself when I silently let go of this guy that I’ve been sort of pursuing for over a year. Let’s call him V. I first met V in Bed during the 2007 Christmas break. He was standing near the bar on the ground floor and I was attracted to his chinito looks and shaved head. We hit it off right away and ended up making out in the car somewhere in Malate before spending the night at his place. I rarely go to another guy’s pad after meeting him in Bed so the fact that I went with V says a lot about how much I like him.

We went out a few times after that and I visited him at his place and spent the night there several times. I’ve been single for quite a while and I considered V a really good prospect and was willing to see where things will eventually lead.

He says that he likes me a lot and I can tell because he’s quite malambing (affectionate) when we’re together at his house. But I can tell that he’s holding back and when I confronted him about it, he explained that he was still hurting from his previous relationship and that he needed time to “pick himself up.” I wasn’t in a hurry to get into a relationship so I told him that I was willing to wait.

And waited I did for several months. During that time I would occasionally ask him to go out to dinner with me or to watch a movie. He would reply that he was busy with work and that he promised to text me if ever he was free. Well, those texts never did come and I can’t reconcile the fact that he admits to liking me a lot but never finding the time to spend with me.

Action speaks louder than words and I guess he just was not interested enough. It’s been over a year since his break-up with his ex and I think that’s enough time to heal and to explore the possibility of spending time with other people. He says he likes me but he always had a reason. “Kung ayaw, laging mayroong dahilan.” And so I bid him adieu.

6 comments:

Mugen wrote on April 29, 2009 at 3:21 PM:

Thank you for posting this entry Vince. Hindi pala ako nag-iisa. :)

 
Anonymous wrote on April 29, 2009 at 8:32 PM:

Sa Ingles, "he's just not that into you." Marami pa dyan; hang in there :)

 
TerRENCE wrote on May 1, 2009 at 1:06 PM:

realizing that it's holding you back from "life", finally you call it quits. I understand you have, in a way, invested emotionally on him. and seeing that he's has been stuck somewhere or for both of you is going nowhere, it's better to have let it go.

just a note:

this song struck me a million times. it always take's it cue to play in my head whenever i dn't make the effort to spend sum tym or be wd...umm...the oneS i love.

 
Vince wrote on May 1, 2009 at 2:58 PM:

Mugen, you're welcome.

Anon, hahaha! I saw that movie! Thanks for the encouragement. You know what they say about the fish in the sea. :-D

TerRENCE, the song actually reminded me of that saying. :-)

 
Ice wrote on May 1, 2009 at 9:44 PM:

I had the same thing happenng about a year ago. We met (not actually) through a website for PLU and we dated for 3 months. However unlike yours, we didn't have any sexual contact. Just hugs and kisses, which is perfectly alright with me since we were trying to work out a serious relationship.

After a while he started deleting comments I would make on his Facebook. Does not answer my texts or YM messages. Then one faithful Saturday via YM he said he didn't find the connection so he bid farewell.

Aside from the fact that it was through YM, I find it at least decent that he bothered to actually say it's not working and we should cut it off.

 
Vince wrote on May 6, 2009 at 12:25 AM:

Ice, at least in your case he mentioned that it wasn't working instead of leaving you hanging. I very much prefer that.